Monday, 14 March 2016

Tough Times

This has been a draft for a while and it was written in February 2015. I was going through the worst time of my life, I couldn't even finish the post. Seeing this makes me see how far I've come. Things can get better.

The last bits are my notes about what I wanted to write in the post. Yes, a flat tyre was pissing me off and upsetting me, that's how sensitive I was.

"I've been feeling unbelievably stressed, depressed and suicidal for the past week or so. I had a panic attack two weeks ago, I only recently realised that that was what it was. I thought I was going to die; I was shaking, I went white, I was sweating, felt sick, my heart was skipping beats, faint and dizzy. It came on randomly for no reason and I thought my body was malfunctioning.

I've been feeling seriously suicidal and I've started self harming. I've never felt so suicidal before, I've never hated myself so much. I felt like a piece of worthless shit after my boyfriend and I broke up. It was another guy who couldn't deal with me and I blamed myself.

bad day in work
break up
failed biology
flat tyre
stressed at college

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