Tuesday, 10 February 2015

A Break Up Right Before Valentines Day

I'm going through a rough time right now. As you can probably tell, my boyfriend and I have broken up. I guess I should've seen this coming and I kind of did but I always felt it wouldn't ever come to this and I never wanted it too. He showed some of his true colours during the break up. He showed his selfishness and that he obviously didn't think highly enough of me and our relationship to make us work.
If you'd caused your relationship with your soul mate to deteriorate and you go on a break but your soul mate is willing and trying incredibly hard to make things work, you would do anything to keep your relationship. That's not what my (ex) boyfriend did, despite many people telling him that he's losing someone great.

He gave up pretty much the day we went on a break, claimed he'd distanced himself from me, that I deserved better, that he couldn't deal with how he hurt me and couldn't move on from the fact I'd not shown him love for three months. I told him to ignore the past and the break was a way to start afresh. I'd changed my outlook on the relationship and my perspective of him but suddenly, he couldn't let go of these three months which he never spoke to me about when we were together, ignoring my determination to change too! So this is where I get the impression it was just an excuse because deep down, he wants to experience the night life as a single man.

In the last 6 months of our relationship, he started spending more time with his friends and when he turned 18, clubbing became more and more part of his life. He'd told me before that it would be nice to go out clubbing single to see who you could pull and if I spoke about playing a game together when out clubbing of who can get the most numbers, he was always for it. He also gave the impression that a one night stand would be something he's interested in. I'm the only girl he's slept with too so he's obviously feeling like he's missing out on all the fresh vagina that's so widely available now.

What was supposed to be a mutual agreement (though I would've preferred actually trying), turned out to be him refusing me and turning down any chance of our relationship. I felt betrayed and lied too. He's been dumped by every girl he's been with so it also feels like he was trying to avoid me doing it. He's completely messed up. Nothing he said made sense and it sounded more like excuses than trying. I would say that he's given up but he'd say he hadn't!

Anyway, I hope this is the right thing to do. I intend to move on now. I survived the other two horrific relationship endings, I can survive this one.

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