Thursday, 19 June 2014

Life's changing.

So my life is changing from your average college student who doesn't have a care in the world (apart from assignments) to a college student with a car and a job! When I get home from an empty day of college tomorrow, I will have my first little car on the driveway. I'm practically going bankrupt to get this car with the help of my parents financially, but I'll be paying them back when I can. I never thought they'd ever help pay for it but my new job as a carer pays so well that I can pay for the insurance and petrol with some money left over each month.

I got my rota today for next Saturday and they've given me 8.5 hours which is great but I'm really nervous. The nerves are taking over my excitement over the car. My parents and boyfriend seem more excited than me and it's weird - I thought I'd be more excited than I am. I've waited years for this moment and it's coming true tomorrow, but I think this is my strategy to avoid disappointment. I usually numb my emotions if disappointment/pain is possible/inevitable.
My excitement has died down because I was let down after we travelled for an hour to see a lovely car but it was sold 20 minutes before we got there. It ruined my day, I got myself so excited. Then we saw another but I didn't get it because it wasn't the best quality but I tried to tone down my excitement whilst we were going there. I guess whenever I think about the car, I relate it to the neverending amount of work I'll have to do and it makes me feel so tired and also the fact that there could be expensive faults that arise with the car or god forbid, I crash it! I hope the love of my car outweighs the work load and it's all worth it and I don't let down my parents.

There's just so much that I could lose from this decision. It's either do it and do it for at least a year or don't do it and not have any money or a car or responsibility. The part I like about this all is that I have more of a life, more responsibility. I hate just being a college student, I feel like the rest of the immature 16 year olds but getting a car and a job changes all that for me. I'd feel much more like an adult for the first time in my life, but maybe I shouldn't be so excited about that.

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